Each person has had experiences and made decisions that have shaped their personality and their habitual response to their circumstances.  When one looks with understanding at the forces which have shaped a person, it is clear that things could not be otherwise in their world.
 

Consider that every behavior has a purpose.  Even the ones that cause you problems.  The fulfillment of that purpose provides a needed benefit for the person.  And you getting that benefit is why your problem sticks around.

The question, then, is how to fulfill the purpose some other way, so that your problem can release.  The behavior that creates the problem was the best option that a very much younger “you” could find.  But if the older, wiser, more experienced “you” were confronted with that same problem for the first time, there would be more options, better options, and a more mature solution would present itself.  And if you could re-examine situation today, your “problem” would disappear, because there would be no purpose for it now.  We work together to see that situation in a new light.

But that behavior cannot be suppressed, abolished, or banished while the purpose remains to be fulfilled.  At best, some other "symptom" will show up.  This is why sometimes people who stop smoking gain a lot of weight.  The smoking has been forbidden, without the purpose being addressed.  The unconscious mind finds another way to get the purpose fulfillled.

The NLP practitioner's approach is not to try to banish the problem, but to have the purpose fulfilled in a way that has fewer side effects, fewer unwanted consequences.  If the pain that we feel as a result of the problem is "just the cost of doing business" in getting the need fulfilled, then a shift that allows you to "get it wholesale" will naturally result in the unwanted behavior going away.  We just don't have time in our lives for things that cause pain, or require extra effort, unless that is the only way to get what we want.
 

People are not "bad to the bone" because they have bad behaviors, or do things that cause pain.  They are simply following conditioned responses to circumstances.  Conditioned response is the term Pavlov used to describe how dogs could be trained to salivate when hearing a bell ring.  These responses develop in childhood and may also be called habits. When the conditioned response is removed, the person has the ability to respond to a situation, instead of react to it.  The response will be much different. 

After responding newly to a situation, and finding that the outcome is desirable, that response will be repeated until it becomes the normal way to respond.  If the response isn't exactly right, it can be modified the next time to get a better outcome.  The result is that one gets to create a portion of the personality newly, as an adult.
 

Just because a person does not "measure up" to others' expectations, it doesn't mean they are willfully holding back.  A person may be strong in many areas, and not have access to all of their resources in other areas.  NLP provides tools for unblocking access to a person's innate abilities in all areas.
 

No one needs an injection of resources.  This is good, because the even the drug companies don't claim to have injectable resources.  People already have the resources; however, they may not have ready access to them at all times and all places.  When we use NLP techniques, that can change, and the result is the person produces the results in their life that they want.
 

No matter what a person does, the outcome is only the result.  Anything else is a judgment about the desirability of outcome.  Operating from a point of view that has feedback as the important result, one is free to reinforce the process or modify the process.  Instead of having a little voice say "It didn't work.  You just aren't good enough.", one can say "Well, now I know something that I didn't know before.  That is not the best way to get what I want".

When one is tuned in to "failure", they see all outcomes as failures rather than seeing other approaches.

Come to  Your New Life But Leave Your Suffering Behind! You bear the fruits of our work together

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Copyright 2002, Horace Simmons
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Last updated 12/17/02
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